Happy Birthday Alyssa: Special in Every Way

Today my little sister Alyssa turns 18.  Still can’t believe that she has been in the family that long.  It has been quite a journey for the Hall family with many up and downs that we never really quite expected.

Alyssa Carol Hall was born on October 28, 1998, in a local hospital in Las Vegas, Nevada.  I was three and my sister Shelby was five and needless to say, we were excited to be getting a little sister.  Friends and family came from far and wide to see the new addition to the family and while everyone was happy for the growing Hall family, something seemed to be a little bit different.

Alyssa was born with the genetic disorder Trisomy 21, most commonly called Down Syndrome, where she was born with a third copy of her 21^st chromosome.  We quickly learned that we wouldn’t really be able to play with her much and that she needed to be taken care of more than a usual baby.  Before her first birthday, complications in her heart needed to be fixed with open heart surgery.  You can still see the ‘zipper’ scar it left behind to this day.

Our parents couldn’t spend as much time with us as they wanted to because of the hours of care baby Alyssa needed.  I still remember Alyssa sitting in her highchair and my mom struggling to feed her as it would sometimes take two hours just for one meal.  I never realized until I was much older as I look back now how many hours my parents spent taking care of her and how much they worried for her unstable health and her uncertain future.

As Alyssa grew older, she needed less care than she had before.  Due to oral and communication issues, she started speech therapy which I would be dragged along to once a week.  Her communication slowly improved as she started to communicate through signs and had a unique sign for each member of the family.  Things were looking up for her.  Unfortunately, when she was nine years old doctors found a hole in her heart that needed another open heart surgery to repair.

I was a little bit older this time around and remember this time fairly well.  I remember my parents' concern and the look they had on their faces as they explained to us what was happening.  My grandparents came down from Utah to help us during Alyssa’s surgery and month long hospitalization and recovery.   We were uncertain of what the outcome would be.  Alyssa struggled and for three weeks needed a breathing tube to survive.  During this time, people in our LDS congregation looked after us by bringing dinners for our family to lighten our every increasing emotional and spiritual load.

I remember my parents telling Shelby and I that as we prayed to God to help Alyssa recover from her surgery that He would answer our prayers.  I remember my parents would gather us together to pray and ask God for their little daughter to be okay.  Even with feelings of fear and worry clouding their minds, every time they prayed I could feel their sincerity and faith as they believed that God would watch over and protect Alyssa, that as long as God’s wish was for her to live, that she would make it out alright.

After much prayer and fasting in our immediate and extended family as well as amongst our friends and fellow church members Alyssa recovered from her surgery and was able to come home.  While Alyssa still goes in to the cardiologist twice every year for a check-up, no further complications have developed since then.

I can’t imagine how Alyssa’s heart could have had a hole in it because she has the biggest heart of anyone I know.  Whether we were in Wal-Mart or eating at a restaurant she’d be the first one to strike up a conversation.   In a way that only Alyssa could pull off she asks when their birthday is, where their mom is and then maybe switch things up by asking their name.  When I was younger I was often annoyed and embarrassed whenever she would draw this attention to us, but now it amazes me how without fail she can talk to anyone and love them just as if she’d known them her whole life.  Trust me, she has stopped some sketchy people before but after telling one of these random strangers what Alyssa was asking them and talking to them for a while, you can’t help but love them the way Alyssa does and see them through her eyes.

Much of her spare time is spent watching old re-runs of Full House, Family Ties or the old YouTube videos my older sister, my friend and me made before high school.  Whenever she is around others she instantly becomes the center of attention and the heart of the party.  Every time someone visits the Hall home, Alyssa is the first to talk and loves to tell the story of when she pushed Mom in the pool or when Grandma's scooter flipped over into the mud on our family vacation to Nauvoo. I've come to love seeing Alyssa without fail entertain the many guests throughout the years.

I believe every one of us have a dharma or a path in life to follow.  We each have a unique role to play in our lives that only we can fulfill.  For some it is to be a global leader, a police man, or maybe a humble parent.  For Alyssa I have come to the realization that her sacred calling in life is to make others happy.  She’ll never go to college, marry, or even drive like most of us do, but her role is much more important that those temporal things.

I’ve learned so much from my little sister Alyssa in these last eighteen years.  Her unconditional love and concern for everyone encourages me to be more like her.  Because of her heart problems, I learned the power of prayer.  Because of her outgoing attitude I learned to love people and because of her, my love for 1990's sitcoms has grown substantially.

 

Was it hard for my parents to first hear the news that the child they were expecting had Down Syndrome? Has it been hard to have a sister with special needs?  Was it hard for my family to take care of Alyssa in those early years?  Yes.  Yes it was.  Has it been worth it?  Of course it has been.  I’m so grateful that God sends us those with special needs, like my little sister, to not just help us grow but to let us see the pure love of Christ in action.  I can't imagine how different our family would be without Alyssa and I shudder to think what lessons we would have missed if God didn't send Alyssa to us the way that she is.

So for all the birthday songs you’ve sung for me a week before my actual birthday, for all the CD’s of Full House that you scratched up beyond repair, and for inspiring me and my family to be better, more caring people, here is to a happy birthday! Happy 18th Birthday Alyssa!